I’ve been married to the same woman for twenty years, and with our anniversary coming up in just a few days, I’ve been thinking a lot about those years — about everything we’ve lived, loved, and survived together.
In twenty years, there have been highs and lows, joy and heartbreak, laughter and tears. She has made me the happiest man in the world — and, at times, the most frustrated — sometimes all in the same day. But I wouldn’t change any of it. Not a single moment.
Well… maybe if I could time travel, I’d go back and take away the hurt I’ve caused her. That’s the one thing I’d change.
It’s funny — twenty years ago, I thought I understood love. And I did, in the way that young people do. But love back then was different — lighter, simpler. Now, after two decades together, I’ve come to realize that love is something that deepens over time. Every day, I find new reasons to love her more than I did the day before.
There are thousands of songs and poems that try to explain what love really is, but I don’t think words can ever truly capture it. Love isn’t found in what you say — it’s found in what you do. And through her actions, my wife has shown me what real, enduring love looks like.
For twenty years, she has stood by me. She’s fought with me and for me. She’s raised our children. She’s endured the loneliness of military deployments. She has dealt with all of my eccentricity and scatteredness. She’s suffered — sometimes even because of my own mistakes — but she’s never walked away. She complains once in a while, sure, but she never quits. She never gives up on us. Together, the storms of life have never broken us. They may have come close, but here we still are.
She is the first thought in my mind every morning and the last one before I fall asleep. She is bold yet gentle, beautiful yet fierce. She’s soft but strong as stone when I need her to be. She has a mind of her own but still lets me lead — not because she has to, but because she chooses to. She has self-doubt and is self-conscious about her looks, but never realizes that she is, more often than not, the most beautiful woman in the room. Her smile lights up entire rooms and brings warmth to everyone who sees it.
After twenty years, I can’t imagine a version of my life without her in it. I don’t want to. She’s not just a part of my story — she is my story. Every chapter, every scar, every joy I’ve known has her name written somewhere in it.
Our story started back in high school — two kids who had no idea what real love would demand or how much it would give back. Now, all these years later, we have kids of our own who are leaving high school themselves. It’s strange and humbling to see that full circle — to look at them and realize just how far we’ve come together.
I hope that our boys find a woman even half of what she is, because if they do, they’ll be blessed with a wonderful life. No, she isn’t perfect — but God made her perfect for me. And I can’t think of a greater gift than that.
Love changes as you grow older. It stops being fireworks and starts being gravity — the thing that holds you steady, that keeps you grounded when everything else shakes. That’s what she is to me now. My constant. My calm. My home.
I love you, my beautiful wife. Thank you for twenty years of love, loyalty, and grace. God willing, I hope we get at least twenty more. And even if time ever runs out, I know I’ll still love you beyond it.
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